It's funny (actually excruciatingly painful) how people tend to be so over defensive about themselves that they loose sight of things and hurt those who actually care for them.

i know that i may have done the same thing at some point in my life.

Sometimes we get so caught up in our emotions that we become BLIND. Blind when it comes to the view of people on us, blind to what the person involved thinks of us, blind to the reality of the situation, blind to the possibility that we could be actually causing hurt to someone, blind that we could be causing hurt to our selves..

But is that necessarily a bad thing?

Now we have all been hurt before whether it's by family, your old school friend, a new friend or someone you had feelings for and yes how you deal with that whether by choosing to get over it or carry it with you until your adult life says a lot about you, but seriously i don't understand what's the DEAL!

Why does life have to be so complicated? you know why?.... because whether you want to admit it to yourself or not you DO care!!  and YES you try your best to protect yourself and try your best to move on even if it means cutting off all communication with that person or personS.

But as i was saying, the extent that a person goes to protect themselves, their feelings, their view about themselves by themselves and the view of others of them just astounds me.

We act like we are strong, i mean we HAVE to appear that way otherwise we will be eaten alive by those around us (the assumption in our heads). and we act that we don't care and that that specific person or personS have not made a tiny bit difference in our lives when infact the impact was so enormous that we HAD TO FORCE ourselves to PRETEND that that somebody doesn't exist and NEVER did....wow...

It's funny how human beings resort to being stone cold in order not to feel emotional pain anymore but as many of you would say " You learn from the things that happened to you in life, so you have to pay attention and become smarter in order not to feel that type of pain again"... ok i hear what you are saying. But is this really the answer? are you being true to yourself? are you that scared? Is it really worth not feeling anymore? Does "becoming smart" mean to change things in ourselves, our beautiful selves? to actually TAME our pure feelings?

I personally Never "learn" but I would rather feel pain than not to feel anything, but then again i might change my mind tomorrow.

And just to make things clear i am not talking about someone who annoys you so you ignore them i am talking about someone who HURT you, hurt you in a way that you felt it on the surface or in a way that shook your CORE.

So what i am trying to say...is that forgive me, forgive me but i had to protect myself, if only you knew the kind of pain i have suffered, if only you have walked a mile in my shoes, then you would understand. If i hurt you i am sorry, it was never my intention and the only way you could live your life normally is by pretending that i don't exist and in at some point i had to resort to this as well. (I am not talking about a specific person)

And another IMPORTANT thing that i am trying to say is... don't judge. DON'T judge!, don't be afraid to tell someone you care about, that YOU CARE, THAT YOU LOVE THEM, THAT THEY MADE AN IMPACT IN YOUR LIFE!

Try to understand that the person close to you or just merely even NEXT to you, has feelings, they have lived life, felt pain , lost someone they love, had dreams that weren't full-filled , laughed and cried. Understand that it's a possibility that one day you may not exist to this person anymore or that one day THIS person may not exist to you anymore.